ААА!! Я так тут текст набирала, про недостатки, а он не опубликовался! Хорошо, что решила его в ворде сохранить, чтобы под рукой был...
Думаю, многие любители греев видели стих Джулианы Бернес, про стати хорошего грейхаунда, ну, там где про голову как у змеи, а шею как у дракона. А тут подражание, стати не столь хорошего грейхаунда. Даю в оригинале, т.к. стихотворными талантами Б-г обделил. Но, если надо, переведу. Только в стихах у меня не получится.
He's the head of a snipe and the neck of a sheep,
The back of a roach, and a chest not too deep,
He's a front very wide, and a rear very narrow
And trundles about like an old garden barrow.
His feet are quite flat, ideal for a duck,
A jaw undershot, he can't bite but can suck,
His coat is so thick, like a grizzly bear,
And his tail would be better attached to a mare.
Legs very bent, in the style of Queen Ann,
Shoulders held straight like a military man.
He can’t flow along with the speed of an arrow
But flaps up and down like rain sodden sparrow.
Eyes dull and listless and inclined to be light
Then his chest on the left, doesn’t match with the right.
When you stand him up neatly, his stifles are straight
And between his forelegs there’s room for a gate.
His ribcage is flat and his teeth aren’t too clean
He’s holes in his coat where fleas must have been,
The hocks both slope in, and his elbows are red
It would seem they forgot to put straw on his bed.
Apart from the forgoing points I have made
This definite candidate for some “Dog Aid”
Is still very special and noble by birth,
A greyhound the king of all dogs on this earth.
(Apologies to Dame Juliana Berners)
The Greyhound Club Handbook, 1988